Most people put disclaimers at the end of their writing, well I’m going to be a rebel and put it at the top!
Disclaimer: This, in no way, is directed to anyone in particular. This is just something I have noticed in human behavior in general, so please do not message me to chew me out for anything. If you don’t like what I have said then perhaps you should take a closer look at who you are as a person and ask yourself why does this bother me so much before you decide to blow up at me.
I woke up this morning with the strangest thought. Are we who we are because it’s who we are meant to be or because someone in our life has influenced us into being who we are? Not saying being influenced is a bad thing, but I do believe that there is a limit. For example, I like a certain hockey team because I like it but then someone comes a long and he/she likes a different team. So to “be like” this person or have this person like me more I decide that I will like that team too totally forgetting the team I already liked. Another example; I don’t like a particular type of car but then someone comes along that swears by the make of this car that I decide ok sure, I love the car too. Later down the road if the relationship or friendship ends then we’re back to liking the original team and hating that specific make of car.
This kind of influence I don’t think really makes you who you are. I think that is the fake person that just wants to fit in. Why is that so important all of sudden when at one point it wasn’t? If you can’t be liked and accepted for who you already are then I personally believe they’re not worth your time or energy.
Am I making sense or are you totally lost now?
Ok, so take a look at my relationship with my husband. We get along fine and there are things we do have in common, but there is a lot of other things that we don’t have in common. I didn’t change myself or what I like and don’t like to meet his expectations or be closer to him, or to make sure he likes me. The same for him, I’m not going to make him be someone he’s not. I think we’re able to have a healthy and meaningful relationship without having to convert who we are. He likes his things, I like mine, and every so often we come together and do the things we enjoy doing together.
Finding who you are is one thing, but by faking things you don’t really enjoy isn’t the way to do it is it? Discover things for yourself. Try things on your own without being influenced by anyone, or to even impress someone. You should be who you want to be, not what someone else wants you to be. If you don’t like something the guy or girl you like does then tell them. It’s ok to not have everything in common with them. Individuality is important. Be yourself, think for yourself, do things that make you happy. It is the only way you will discover who you are. No one else can do that for you.
Just to clarify, certain types of influences I think are ok though. We grow up being taught by our parents to be good people, to be who we want to be, so on and so forth. Sometimes you get a really great teacher that influences us to become just as good a teacher one day. To me this is more encouraging us to be who we are or who we want to be. Don’t be afraid to like what you want. To wear what you want. To listen to whatever music you’re into or watch whatever you enjoy watching. Never be afraid to be yourself. Love who you are inside and out and I know that can be difficult at times, I have experience with this, but you can do it. If you feel at any time that you want to listen to that same band, or you want to wear something you’ve seen, or watch something, then do it because YOU want to, not because you feel the need to impress someone else.
Individuality is a great thing, don’t let someone take that away from you….ever!