Friendship

Let me start off first by saying, I am in no way saying I am THE perfect friend. I have my faults and I know there have been many times over the years where I could have been a better friend to people in my life. I’m only human and I make mistakes. Sometimes it’s just I can’t deal with certain situations so I pull away and I shut down. Making it look as though I don’t care. I do, but I need time in which to process things my own way. It may take a few days to a few months, sometimes even longer. That being said, let us continue.

I have been thinking about friendship and what it means to people. I love my friends. There are some I consider a part of my family. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them. I love seeing them and I love spending time with them. There are others that are friends, but not as close to me as my “extended family” is. I was thinking about my friends for a while now and where we all are now. Life over the years have changed, which in turn changes us in a way. It’s to be expected. It is after all part of evolving. That doesn’t mean I love my friends any less. They are a constant in my life and I’m blessed to have them.

There has been times in which I’ve had to say goodbye to friends. Some for positive reasons, others not so positive. Some of those people I do miss though and often wonder how they are. There is one in particular I really miss and would love to talk to, just to see how he is. Maybe one day our paths will cross and I just recently reconnected with an old friend too. Friends will come and go, that’s just how life works. It’s sad though at times isn’t it?

I look at the friends my girls have and there are times when I’m heartbroken. My eldest daughter is 15 and although she goes to school with a lot of the kids she went to elementary with, she’s not friends with all of them anymore. More like a passing acquaintance. A lot of them don’t ask her to hang out or do things with. Even the ones that did she doesn’t see very much anymore. Yet they can make the time to do other things with other people, completely ignoring my child. It’s hard to see. She seems to not worry about it so much but I worry for her. She’s different sure, but she’s still human. Even her best friend doesn’t hang out with her as much. Not like she used to that’s for sure. It amazes me how time can change people. Two girls that were so close, inseparable at times, now may see each other every now and then. Makes me wonder what will happen when my youngest child starts high school next year. Social interaction is important to development just as much as academics and athletics are. Will she lose all the close friendships she’s made in elementary? Will things be different for her?

I have amazing kids, people would notice that if they just spent some time getting to know them. High school can be so harsh, even more so on young impressionable teenage girls.  I’ve lost a lot of the people I used to be friends with in high school too. For a while I kept in contact after graduation with a few of them, but then as our lives changed so did our friendship. During high school though, I tried to maintain friendships with those I had known from elementary. For the most part I succeeded. Made some new ones along the way too. Now, I’ve reconnected with some of those old friends from elementary and high school. Not all mind you, but some. Would be nice to see them more often though. I need a social life!! LOL. It would be nice to just see more of my friends in general…no matter from elementary or high school, or my adult years. I’ve gotten to a point in my life right now that I don’t even have the motivation to host events like I used to. I never know who’s going to come. I guess you could say I’m gun shy. I don’t handle rejection very well so when someone says they’re not coming I end up taking it personally. Even though that isn’t the intent and I know that deep down inside. My mind says one thing and my heart says another. When my kids get left out by their friends, I take it even more personally. I know I shouldn’t, but it happens.

Friendships are precious. Cherish the ones you have now and look forward to the ones you may one day make. Love them unconditionally as you would love your family because in a sense, they too are family.

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