Love unconditionally

Not too long ago I wrote a status message on Facebook about love and how it’s worth fighting for. I mentioned I could probably go on about it but it would have to be in a blog. Only because that’s a long post and not one for FB. So is love worth fighting for? I believe it is. When you’re lucky enough to find that right person. The one you think about all the time, the one that makes your heart beat faster, the one that makes you smile, even if they’re not around, then yes, most definitely, love is worth fighting for. Not everyone is blessed with what you found, so hold on to it!

It’s never easy. Being in love, or giving all that you are to one person. Sometimes it’s not even for one person. You can share your love for multiple people. Polyamorous  relationships aren’t uncommon in this day and age…but it’s not for everyone. I love many different people in different ways. The romantic love that I feel though is for one person and one person only. It’s not always easy, and we have our issues too. Most couples will, but we work though it and we strive to have a happy and healthy relationship. Love isn’t easy, it’s hard work. The emotion may come easily but to maintain that happiness you have to work on it together. You’re not just there for the good times, but that means you’re there for the bad times too. You’re there during all the ups and downs. You’re there for all of life’s little obstacles. Giving up may seem like the logical choice, or is it the easy choice, when things aren’t going according to your thoughts or plans. Is that being real, or is that just not caring enough to try? There is NO plan when it comes to love. It’s an emotion that comes naturally and you just work with it. Sure you have to work on keeping it harmonious but you can’t expect things to be a certain way when you’re in love. That’s unpredictable and ever changing.

I’m by far an expert on the subject. I’ve been divorced twice and I’m married for a third time. I’ve had plenty of failed relationships on the way, but I have learned a few things along the way. Heck, I must be doing something right though. I’ve been with my love for almost 10 years, and we’ve been married for almost 7 of those years. The longest relationship I’ve had! We have had some rough points, but we worked through them. He’s not perfect and neither am I, and we have accepted that. We don’t expect much from one another but trust and honesty. We tell each other I love you often, and although he drives me nuts (as I know I do him), I can’t imagine my life without him in it. In the beginning of our relationship, many people believed we wouldn’t make it 6 months. Here we are, nearly 10 years later.

If I have any advice to give it would be this:

1. If you feel you have found the one for you then you don’t give up. You do whatever you can without giving too much of yourself to make the person you’re with see how much he/she means to you.

2. If you’re expecting love to be a certain way then get rid of that thought immediately. You will do nothing but set yourself up for disappointment if you don’t. Let it be natural and free flowing without expectations.

3. Never make the person you’re with feel as if he/she is a part time boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife. If you’re in it, then you’re in it 100% or not at all. You can’t just have them around for the good times, they’re there for the bad too. You can’t just keep taking from them and not giving anything back. If you do, chances are you will lose them.

4. Make time for the one you’re with. Quality time together can go a long way. Even if it means dedicating a day or two just for you. Sure it’s always good to be social and to invite your love on outings or hanging out with friends, but as a couple you need time alone too. Just the two of you. Your busy social life will always be there, he/she may not. Nothing wrong with just shutting out everyone for a day or two and bonding. Everyone has done it, it’s healthy for your relationship. Just remember though, if you do make plans with your love, then don’t go changing them at the last minute. Don’t forget that you’ve made these plans and most of all, don’t be afraid to tell anyone that you aren’t going to change them. This is about you and the one you’re with. Everyone else can wait.

5. Leave little messages. Love notes or texts. Tell them how much they mean to you often. Words of affirmation and/or love shows the one you’re with how much you’re thinking about them. Follow up on that though by SHOWING them too. You can’t just say the words and not show them how much they mean to you or how much you do love them. Actions do speak louder than words.

I’m sure in time I’ll think of a few more but for now, this is a good start. Ones I think young couples or freshly started relationships could benefit from. At least I hope! Like I said, I’m no expert…lol!

Every love story is different. Some will work out, others will not. Only time will tell how yours will go.

 

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